Written by Chicken
I love listening to music! Tiny DJ always plays the best music and we have awesome dance parties. Moose never wants to dance because he just doesn’t understand the appeal of bagpipe techno.
I also love to watch music! Lots of times I’ll watch music videos on Youtube. Sometimes I have to shut my eyes, though, because some of the people who make music are really scary!
Here are a few of the absolute scariest. You should only read this if you’re super brave.
1. Katy Perry
Sometimes Katy Perry is funny! Like in that video where she is in Candyland, or in those interviews where she has a terrible personality! But other times she’s a scary alien. Have you seen the video for E.T.? Ahhhh! She has big scary nails and I don’t even know what’s going on with her head.
2. Kanye West
Kanye West was mean to that nice girl who won the award for having the best music video! Shouting is always scary. I think there was a scientist somewhere who did an experiment that proved shouting is scary. Kanye West should shout less!
And I also think that those weird sunglasses that he wears are scary. Can you even see out of those?
I think Kanye West is a bad influence.
3. Lady Gaga
Lady Gaga is so scary! Not because of her clothes. Her clothes are actually really normal and I think that I own some of them. No, it’s because her name is “Gaga,” like what a baby says. Her name is a baby’s voice! That is a terrifying concept to me. It also doesn’t help that she says her name in every song.
4. Justin Bieber
Our advice columnist Bessie thinks that Justin Bieber is really great, for some reason. I don’t trust him. I think it’s awfully convenient that such a powerful and talented voice comes out of such a charismatic and marketable person. I think that maybe Justin was created by monsters.
5. Eduard Khil
You guys, Moose showed me this video and I’ve had nightmares for the past two nights.
Cameron
Sgt. Merlot
