Written by Chicken
The Internet is awesome! I’m using it right now! I don’t understand exactly how the Internet works, but from all of the movies and TV shows about the Internet that I’ve watched, it has something to do with cyber. I’m not sure what cyber is either, but it doesn’t seem like it has very good graphics.
Last night, Moose and I watched Johnny Mnemonic. I said that it was a clumsily executed but ultimately prophetic portrait of the future of technology, and Moose said that Keanu Reeves isn’t a very good actor. I think that we’re both right!
Shouldn’t that woman already know what the Internet is? How come she looks so confused by Keanyu’s cyberhelmet? That is the only logical flaw I can find in that scene.
From what I’ve been able to gather, the Internet lives in something called “cyberspace.” Cyberspace is a virtual place full of wolf plushies who ride hoverboards (although technically the correct terms are “cyberboards” and “cyberplushies”). This is something I learned from the TV show CSI, which I think stands for “Cyber Squad Internet.”
When you’re exploring cyberspace, it’s really important to be careful of hackers. Hackers can infect your computer with a virus! Fortunately, it’s easy to tell when your computer has a virus, because your screen gets replaced with a picture of a skull.
Always remember, skull = virus. The crossbones are optional.
The best way to avoid a hacker is to fly away on your cyberboard (preferably through some sort of 3-D maze). You have to be very fast, though, because all hackers wear rollerblades all of the time.
Bessie
Jethro Troll
