Written by Chicken
Hi guys! So Moose tells me that around this time of year, a lot of people are going back to school! I’ve also been considering going back to school because I don’t always understand the words that Moose uses (like “insane”). But whether you or your kids are attending high school, college, or a treehouse with the word “school” written on the side (like me!), it’s important to make sure you have all the right school supplies.
Here are all of the absolutely crucial school supplies that you might have overlooked!
1. Colored Pencils
Most people use regular, boring old pens or pencils, but I like to write everything with colored pencils. It’s a great way to show off how much stuff you’ve learned! For example, if I’m writing a term paper about the color blue, I use a green colored pencil to show my teacher that I understand what irony is!
They're not scented like markers. Believe me, I smelled them. I smelled ALL of them.
2. Books
Books are lots of fun! You can learn all sorts of neat things from them! My favorite book is “Dr. Seuss’s Amazing Alphabet Book,” and my second favorite book is “Anton Chekhov’s Life and Thought: Selected Letters and Commentaries.”
This is all of the required reading for my treehouse school. I'm taking some extremely intensive classes.
3. Tea
Tea’s a nice way to relax your brain after a long day of learning. I drink some almost every day. Moose says that I’ve got “tea” mixed up with “grape soda that has tea bags in it,” but I don’t think he knows how to make tea very well. One time I drank some tea that Moose made and it didn’t taste like grape at all.
The Internet says that this is what tea is supposed to look like, but I don't think the Internet knows how to make tea either.
4. Gold
I heard somewhere that sometimes a student will give their teacher an apple as a present, but I don’t think that actually happens anywhere except for the fifties. But teachers always love it when you give them gold! Gold is also very useful for crafting magical swords.
5. Magical Sword
This one just seems obvious.
Duh.
6. Stargate
Now, I know what you’re saying. “Chicken! I can’t afford a Stargate in this economy!” But our competitive job market is exactly why you can’t afford not to own a personal intergalactic portal.
It's for science!
For starters, alien planets contain hordes of eldritch knowledge that is a source of unspeakable, unimaginable power. It’s a fantastic study aid, and it also looks great on a resume!
If you’ve got more than one Stargate, it’s also a very convenient means of transportation. “No school bus for me, thanks!” Haha!
So I hope that this helps you prepare for the new school year! All of this stuff can be found either at your local office supply store, or in your imagination. Happy learning!
Chicken
Moose
